The 40 Questions About Me Meme
In the extended entry, a meme survey that's going around. Find out more useless facts about me!
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes, when I was ten. Long story. Also, whenever I fly alone, I get searched by TSA. I have never been searched while flying with Sarah. Hurray for being married!
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I have not ridden a rollercoaster since I nearly died on one at a local amusement park in Topeka, Kansas at the age of six.
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
We used to steal trays from the cafeteria at Grinnell for this. Uh, probably my freshman year, so 1996.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on the temperature. I like knowing I am not alone in the room, but I am fat and I produce enough heat to warm a soccer stadium. Maybe this will change.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. Just the same, I saw one once as a child.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yeah, I guess.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Somewhere in the multiverse he did. Hell, somewhere in the multiverse, he killed Reagan in a bloody coup and rules America with an iron fist! For some reason, in that universe, he wears an eye patch.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angelina. The show Friends still makes me physically ill for reasons I cannot discuss.
9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
I kind of wish I did sometimes. Mostly, no.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Poke her with what? Seriously, I'm here all week. Yes.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Nope. I have never broken the 36 hour barrier. I start to vomit and hallucinate if I try.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
The folgers "you can sleep when you are dead" people! Or, possibly, the sports Ka commercial where the car decapitates a cat. You think I'm joking, but I have it on file. I love cats, but I am also sick and demented.
13. What are you allergic to?
Laramie, Wyoming.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
In the middle of the night, the lights flash yellow here. So no.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Probably. Unless I know a telepath. Are any of you telepaths?
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Both will be fed to my lord Cthulhu. But in a pinch, Red Sox.
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Nope. Sarah's still working on this one.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Always. Read the back entries for some fun ones!
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
During an old episode of MST3K that Kevin and I were watching, something about Bride of Satan--can't remember the title, but it had Satan in it. And there's a ten minute sequence of a car driving on a highway, getting passed. And the 'bots are shouting "Off the road, man-goat!"
You had to be there.
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Probably, but I have never tried. Let me try.
Yes, apparently I can.
21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
Getting a job that I love.
22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
Star Jones? This is the weirdest question in this quiz. Is this just a big marketing ploy, a quiz written to spread like a meme, but that will be googled later to find out what Ghetto Barbie's market awareness is? If so, job well done, Mr. Marketeer.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Sometimes, I forget, but I try to wear it always.
24. What cell service do you use?
Veriz- CALL LOST
25. Do you like Sushi?
Do you like raw rancid bear fat? No? Well, I consider it a general rule of thumb to avoid uncooked meat. I've had food poisoning too many times.
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
A couple of months ago, I had to get on the shoulder to avoid a head-on collision on 287. It happened so fast, I didn't start swearing until we got home.
27. What do you wear to bed?
The tighty whities, usually, but sometimes, when we're feeling frisky, the gimp suit.
28. Been caught stealing?
Once, when I was five. I enjoy s--wait, that was Jane's Addiction. The correct answer is, "no." That's because I have ninja skills. I once stole a house. They still haven't caught me.
29. what shoe size do you have?
Nine and a half, wide. Stompy, stompy.
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Fred Phelps, and a couple of jocks from high school.
31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Mash-ups of both! Take that, stupid quiz!
32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Stephen Hawking. Awwww, yeah. *porn guitar*
Mostly because I want to know what he sounds like when he climaxes.
33. Favorite Song?
True Dreams of Witchita, by Soul Coughing.
34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Me neither.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Uncooked meat. Vegetables that are green. Some other vegetables. Tofu. 1000 Year old eggs. Actually, it would be a shorter list of what foods I don't find disgustings. That would be, hamburgers and pizza.
No, it's not any wonder why I am fat. Thanks for asking.
36. Do you sing in the shower?
Always. Badly. On purpose. It scares the cats.
37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Only with YOUR MOM!
38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
As Nick Mamatas said, "That's what friends are for!"
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
I can't even stand up for myself. What makes you think I am going to stand up for somebody else?
40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes, but it was an accident. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't pass out, which I think is a sign of my great fortitude. I should have been a boxer.