Strange Horizons Christmas Story

I normally hate Christmas stories of any kind, barring a couple of fun ones by Connie Willis, but Strange Horizons has part one of biotech-awesomeness up today. I'm looking forward to reading more of this one.

What I told Donner about the nose isn't really true. The rest of me might be falling apart as the years go by—nobody knows how long we'll last—but the nose keeps going strong. The designers were justifiably proud. Besides reindeer nose, quite a marvel in itself, it's part phosphorescent fish and part penis (donkey, according to my sources). It not only glows, it swells. It's pinker than they wanted. They were going for that Christmas red, of course, like Santa's suit and Coke cans, but that's tough to wrestle out of a donkey dick. I'm more rose-nosed than red. No, it doesn't hurt, to answer the number one question. It starts to get numb after while, and four hours of straight glow is all I'm supposed to do according to contract. But who pays attention to those things? A freak's going to take them to court? Not likely. Had a gig in Denver once kept me glowing for 8 solid hours.

I don't know about you, but when I think of the holidays, I think of genetically engineered noses made from donkey penis! Well, from now on...