Burning Question of the Day

Ladies, you should probably scroll right on by. This is a problem of a male nature. I think, anyway. I don't know anything about your bathrooms.

Guys. Let's talk. I have a gripe. Have you used a public toilet lately? Not a urinal. You know, for #2? Okay. Someone tell me, why are some toilet seats not complete ovals? Some of them have a big gap right in the front. Why is this?

If you aren't careful, you end up rubbing your junk all over the piss-streaked rim of the bowl. Are these toilet seats manufactured with the express purpose of transferring sexual diseases? Do they think we like the feeling of cold porcelain on our testicles? I know cold temperatures help with fertility, but come on. Do they really save enough money on that missing 4 inches of hard plastic that it justifies the experience?

And what do you do if you "dip"? It's not exactly easy to scrub yourself down at the sink. It's really hard to explain to the valet or the next person to walk in the door, when you've got your privates out and are washing them with soap in the sink.

This is a serious problem. I think we need a petition against those crescent moon seats. Something must be done. And while I'm complaining, can get get wall dividers between urinals too? Nobody uses the middle urinal for a reason. Give us dividers, and we will pee in harmony.

Please note-- if you say you do not have this problem in my comments, we will all assume you have a small penis.